One day Lucifers father came to see him, found him weeping.

Dad;
Whats the matter son, your best girlfriend run off with a Unicorn?
Loki been up to his crap again?

Son:
No, I was just contemplating all the lives I have spent trying to get these “humans” to become more than two legged animals, all the times they helped the evil kill my ass, for trying to get them to save themselves from the evil!

Dad:
Well Son, I warned you about these pig fuckers, but you damned well knew everything!
Starting to see things your ole mans way huh?
About damn time!

Son:
Do you know some of the same pig fuckers who murdered Jesus the Christ are now “praying” for him to come back!
Every time he comes back, they call him names, throw shit at him, and more often as not help murder his ass!
I damn well guarantee, these pig fuckers just THINK they want Jesus the Christ back!
He seems to be very very pissed at them.
Said their seed belongs in the damn pigs.

Dad:
Been doing some growing up on this rock I see.
Be good to get you home now you got your head out of your ass!

Son:
What about these “humans’.

Dad:
These pig fornicators, Hel, they want to be slaves.
They flunked!
Another cycle of slavery, death, hardships, sweat, toil, bitching, whining for them!

Son:
They damn well deserve it!

Dad:
Soon as Ragnarök is done, not long from now, you can come home.
But the first time I catch you trying to sneak around with my best girlfriend again, you will find you ass right back on this rock, dealing with these pig fuckers again!
You got that?

Son:
Yes Dad.

Hell, don’t worry about it.
I did not tell you but she ran off with Loki thousands of years ago.

Together:
The Gold Digging Bitch!

Ragnarök draws nigh.

The Ole Dog