I know how he felt!
Always been compared to him, as my given name is John, and by father was a Southern Baptist minister.
I recall how when I was a very small kid, the family went on vacation.
Come Sunday, we were going to church.
Church was the smallest church in the area my father could find.
He did not have use for big churches.
Said people lost their zeal to become better people lost in the crowd, became a social club.
Time came as it does in any small Southern Baptist church when the guest are given a chance to introduce themselves.
We stood as my father introduced himself as Paul Carleton, introduced the four kids left at home at that point, as Mary, David, Daniel and John.
Now if you don’t think that made some heads whip around!
But I also know how he felt, crying out the truth, crying out the dangers facing his people, and for all the apparent good he was doing, for all he got to stop, look and listen, and maybe start on the right path, he may as well have cut him a pole and damned well gone fishing.
John the Baptist said, I am doing my part, I am crying out the truth, and being persecuted because of my crying out the truth, but I feel like I might as well be standing in the middle of the desert crying out the truth, for all the results I can see!
Feel that lonesome feeling myself.pain, sorrow and disappointment, crucified for telling the truth and not shutting up about it!
Want some elbow room, feeling crowded in?
Start telling the truth, all the time, and refuse to stop telling the truth!
You going to have all kinds of room around you, way around you.
Sheep are weak creatures, some who had cheered Jesus as he spoke throughout the land, jeered him as he died in pain, sorrow, disappointment, crucified for telling the truth and refusing to stop telling the truth.
Some switched sides, because they were afraid the government might remember they trailed with Jesus, so they cussed and jeered him to save their own cowardly asses.
Some switched sides and jeered, because they are sheep, they want to feel safe.
Way they saw it, Jesus lost, government won.
To hell with Jesus!
For reasons I will not bore you with here, the CIA tried to trap me in some of their false flag operative schemes, or the FBI, I figured this was the CIA.
After years of phone conversations with a person I never met in person, to my knowledge, he one day tried to convince me to come on board, by trying to convince me, if a man like me stood up, took control, changes could be made.
But of course, I would have to stop telling all that truth all the time, play politics, do it their way.
He said if Jesus had toned it down a bit, went at it a bit different, he might have won.
I shocked him, when I replied, “Jesus did win!”.
He thinking is on a material level, his world is ruled by his lust.
How much power can I get?
How much money can I steal?
How many women can I bed?
How much fame can I win?
Then you die, then you answer for what you did with your opportunities to learn, grow spiritually on earth, in human form.
Oh yes, some one else has all your women, wine and song now.
Your body died.
Someone else is sitting on “your” throne now.
Jesus, even though he did not get the Hebrews to repent of their evil, nor to rise up against Roman occupation, won!
Even though they crucified his ass, he won!
Because he remained true to himself, his beliefs, his duty he was sent to that life to do.
Jesus the Christ grew spiritually from the disappointment in the Hebrews, his disapointment in humanity, his disappointment in the sheep people, from the struggle, from the pain, from the lonesomeness of him. having the target on his ass, which he had put there himself, trying to help the hebrews, he saw as his people.
Jesus right up till the end could have promised to shut up, be a good Roman slave, and existed until another death found him, ashamed and defeated.
But he refused to shut up, he refused to compromise with evil, he refused to sell his duty and principles for fleeting pleasure and fame on this rock, for so very brief a moment on the books of time.
So he Won!
The Hebrews lost.
He did not come to save them, but to give the Hebrews the chance to repent and save themselves
BUT the Hebrews did not want to repent and change, the Hebrews did not want to hear the message Jesus the Christ came to deliver, of self ownership, of self help, of self growth, through illumination.
So the Hebrews helped the Romans murder the messenger, and partied on!
Today, there are no Hebrews.
Today there are no Romans, (Empire Romans).
The truth Jesus the Christ cast into the wind of the Hebrews scorn over two thousand years ago, still stands, and is relevant today as it was when he spoke those truths.
Jesus won, the Hebrews lost, the Romans lost, humanity lost!
The few truth tellers today, have all the elbow room they desire.
I know when I really crossed the Rubicon, or in this case the Potomac, made the commitment to tell the truth, stand up for my people, my country, my culture, my land, I got a lot more elbow room.
Siblings, extended family members, “friends”, who figured Washington DC was going to kill my ass sooner or later for speaking out, put distance between my body and theirs, as they did not want to become collateral damage!
There is a tipping point in illumination, when that blinding realization of just how meaningless other than for lessons learned, and our duty, this physical life is, how very fleeting this life is, but of how permninate your soul, your energy, your essence is.
When you come to understand the words in the Bible, not in the way most church goers understand it, but more clear, more fully understood:
“put not your treasure into earthly things, where thieves break trough and steal, where moth and time does corrupt, but within Heaven, (your own soul), where they are safe from evil, and the power of this world”.
When I graduated high school, took my college entrance exam, I scored in the top 97% of the whole country in that year.
Local Congressmen called my father, offered West Point.
Have the blood lines, strong, not weak, of the bloodlines all American presidents came from up till at least the Bushes.
On my mothers side my 3ed cousin was secretary of the Treasure and State, at different times.
I could have been president if that was what I had desired as a young man.
But my soul, had grown enough spiritually, to understand, the corruption of this world, and the illumination of the other.
As such, the former glitter of wealth, power, fame, I understood would become as ashes in my mouth as I grew older, as the fun of unbridled lust slipped away, with the bill to be payed coming due upon demand!
Long way of saying, any success or failure in this life, fighting the evil, being a truth teller, trying to wake the sheep, depends not on the actions of the sheep, but on my actions alone.
If the sheep do not hear my voice, my words of truth, it is on their heads, and their lambs heads.
If Texicans do not hear my voice and do not heed my words of truth, it is on their heads, and their children heads.
If the Americans do not hear my voice, heed my warnings, my truth, it is on their heads, and the heads of their children.
If the worlds people, humanity, does not hear my voice, heed the words of my truth, it is on their heads, and the heads of their children.
If I do my duty, I tell the truth no matter the cost, I refuse to shut up telling the truth, I deliver the message, the messenger is held blameless for the actions of the receivers of the message, as long as the message was delivered.
That means, I win!
They murder me, I still win!
Whether or not humanity wins, depends on the individual action of each individual human, on the day they stand before the record of this life.
No group called Humanity, Americans, Texicans, or another group, will be standing there with you.
There will be no one to share the blame of individual spiritual failures with.
So in the end, each individual, is either their own savior, or their own damnation.
No skin off my ass, I delivered the message, and will until they murder me, I die of old age, or it is no longer relevant.
John C Carleton