New-Kingdom of Carleton’s Approved American Male Self Examination Technique

My 4th g-grandfather dying from lung problems picked up winter soldiering against the British.
He was an American. He was a man. He had a set of balls.

It has come to my attention, most males in America, having reached the age of 18, consider themselves men.

Not all males are men.
This can be quite confusing to politically correct males.
So i have provided a check chart and a self examination with which to separate the American men from the male sheep boys.

#1. Are you an American?

A. No.
B. Yes.

If answer is no, shut the fuck up and sit the hell down, you are a guest in my land, show some damn manners!
If the answer is yes, proceed to #2.

#2. Remove your fruit of the looms, reach under your penis, see if there are a couple egg shaped things hanging in a bag under your penis.

A. No.
B. Yes.

If the answer is no, you are not old enough for this conversation, come back in a few years, or you are a sheep.
If you are a sheep, go away, as you will not understand any of this, and it will make you bleat in fear, piss and shit yourself in your wool!

Now the rest of you, say you are American, and have a set of balls, there is one final test.

Now, I have never lived in Missouri, but I picked up one of their customs.

SHOW ME!

Cause I have seen very few, Americans, who in my opinion, have a set of balls.
Or at least know what to do with them!

So stand the fuck up!
Speak the hell up!
In defense of your culture, your country, your way of life, your people.

Otherwise shut the hell up, get your cowardly self serving ass back to the meadow.
The sheep herd is missing some of their wool shitting boys and will not rest easy until the herds whole again!

John C Carleton